20 May 2012

Going Crazy

I haven't blogged in a really long time, but we'll work on that very slowly. Life has been real hard on me lately. I've finally gotten over the "woe is me" aspect of living in Las Vegas, though. Don't get me wrong, it is still really really hard, but hey, what kind of a life would you be living if you had an easy life? A boring one, that's what. About 5 and a half months ago my dear Uncle David passed away in an awful car accident. His sweet wife Cristina is so strong, and I admire her every step of the way, but as this trial challenges our entire family, it can either make or break individuals. So far I think that our bond as a family (extended and immediate) has been strngthend beyond measures, but I don't think I'm the only one that feels The Advarsary working brutely hard against us. In many different ways too. There are some points when I feel like nothing I do will make a difference in how I feel. There are times when I just want to give up, and say "I am so done. With everything! School is too hard, being sociable is too hard, being the example is too hard, so just leave me alone and don't try to comfort me." but then I think back to WWDD? What would David do? Obviously he is watching us from Heaven, right? He can see the pain and troubles we're going through. So what can I do, in these hard times, to make David proud? To make him look to the person standing next to him in Heaven and say "That's my niece right there! I love her so much, look at how hard she is trying! I am so proud to be her uncle!". Knowing that he is now also watching me, along with the reassurance that God and His Son is also watching me, is what helps me keep Satan away. I don't ever want to ever give Satan the satisfaction of making me feel awful and sick inside, and I never want to disappoint David, or God and His Son. Yesterday I was at the temple doing some baptisms. While I was there, I remembered an experience that my mom had had while she was in the temple after David had gone. She was inside the temple, and had a feeling that David was introducing people from heaven to his family in the temple. He was telling the people from heaven that his family were the ones that were doing their temple work. As I was being baptized yesterday for people who have already passed, I knew that my uncle was right there with me, introducing me to the 5 women in whom I was being baptized for. It was such a great feeling! I miss my uncle very much, just as everyone else does. I pray everyday for his sweet Cristina to feel the Saviors love everyday! I pray that his children will be able to remember how much he loves them. I pray that my grandma and grandpa will be comforted by the spirit, and I also pray for all of his siblings who have lost a brother. I love you all, and thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts. I look forward to the day when I can hug my uncle David again! Love - Brianne

1 comment: